NEW BLOG

2008-07-17T05:08:00.000-07:00

i am tired......
you know like how u dun even feel like climbing out of bed at times.....
sometime i think i sleep so much is cos i dun wanna face the world. or its jus cos i like to sleep... i dunno.
if yall dunno, i failed JCT...lol.... but im not sad cos i had it coming.... but it is making me panicky...
like im so close to alevel but i still cannot squeeze am E in any subject.... it has never happen to me in other times like in primary skool or even Sec skool. i always had control.... but this 2 years is totally out of my control. it makes my so damn panicky inside,,, i just want to breakdown and die...lol. sometimes i can feel my heat race with the thought of Alvl coming.... sucks man
i dunno why i dun wanna study.... it seems noone can make me do so.... i am so doomed. i dunno la... maybe i will make it, maybe i will fail... like i said... it is out of my control.

i am tired of life too... not tat i wanna really go die... thats jus so loser. but life is fucking tiring. u have relationships to maintain, ppl to please, exams to study for.... worry for money. why cant ppl jus slack all our life...lol. so many ppl die w/o inventing anything or save anyone.... so why work so hard man....
ya rite,... if u dun work now... u cannot survive in this world...lol..... boo-ness

ranting ranting ranting....BLEAH... blogging is so scary... i dunno why....
I NEED SOMEONE TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF ME ( pls dun take it too seriously ppl)
OVERNOUT

2008-06-30T04:19:00.000-07:00

darlingiloveyou

XOXO

2008-06-21T00:51:00.000-07:00

i feel i should have a seperate post....lol
BABY IS COMING BACK... i miss u sosososo much baby.....
u dunno how much i think of u every single day.
i wait for ur sms with almost desperation man......
will u be kind to teach me some math baby......
OVER N OUT

2008-06-21T00:40:00.000-07:00

I NEVER STUDY!!!! WOOOO!!! RAWK ON!!!!!!
lol.... many would never believe tat someone will actually not study for her JCTs... tats yours truely. and the wierdest thing is tat even though i did not study cos of my own reluctance to do so... i feel so bloody guilty. like u know u ate a humongous cheese burger and u totally regret it later......
its just like last year during o levels... every night i would say 'ok lets study' then i would end up doing something else..... but its different tis year. o levels u can get by with common sense. a levels, u need superhuman mental capabilities and capacity. its insane amount of info for a brain like mine. i admit tat i am stupid since i am in primary skool. by sheer luck i got to where i am.... now its pay back time man. life's a bitch isnt it. i spent 7 full days sleeping, dazing, jogging ANYTHING BUT STUDY!!! its the fucking a levels man.... i jus cannot stuck it and do it.... bleah
i need someone to do it wif me... but i am afraid i will likw ka jiao the person. i have a really rea;;y short attention span of perhaps 5 minutes. at the beginning of the hols i told myself tat i cannot fail too badly... i guess i wun fail badly cos I WILL TOTALLY FLUNK!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA
i wanna die.....
OVER N OUT

2008-06-07T22:55:00.000-07:00

WOOOOHOOO... i totally broke my head on friday!...lol. have to wait 2 days before i can think properly again. hope it wun affect my JCTs lol... but if i dun do well then yall know the reason....lol.
thx to all those who pei me to the A and E tat day and SX hu paid for me...lol. i will try to return u the money soon. the doc say the net price for going A and E is like 75 bucks... so i may as well get stitches and stuff since i muz pay so much. so i got 3 stitches!! and i dunnid to shave moi head cos the doc say i got veh little hair. botak oso got use one ok....lol
then cos of moi head cannot play captain ball ystd. so sad... i think of it ffor 1 week le lef. then so sad cannot play....boo. then me get fat cos fridat broke head nvr excersise then the next few days oso cannot excersise. FAT! lol. then i never wash hair for 3 days!! even i oso feel er....
then suay suay Baby's kor kor kena slash by chopper then have to get like 7 stitches.....lol. but we are all fine!! so its like ok la...lol
baby... thx for ur caringness this few days.... i was not nice to u and all. i know. sorry baby.....

OVER N OUT

2008-06-03T05:43:00.000-07:00

another day of the june hols has passed. did nothing today but its ok....lol.
went wif Baby to bras basar to check out TYS and finally decided to jus buy in skool. then Baby went to dental. i sat outside and slept uglily...lol.
tomolo we gonna se sex and the city!!! so exciting!! i am 18 so I CAN LEGALLY WATCH! have to smuggle 3 underaged kids to the show tomolo....lol.

Baby... it seems that i have been making u sad these pass few weeks... and i know most of it is cos of what i said. i tend to tok alot... this also lead to me saying things i do not really mean. i jus say for the sake of saying... not tat all the stuff i say is pointless la... but i tend to use strong words.... u are such a sweet and sensitive girl, a monkey-brain like me need more time to understand how to control the trash that spills out of my gap. i know u have been very patient le... Baby, i shall try to not make u sad or angry so often k... MUAKS!!!

OVERNOUT

2008-06-02T07:11:00.000-07:00

BOOOYAH!!! my Baby helped me set this blog up. LUCKY LUCKY me cos my Baby is so so so good to moi. ILU.... Bon Voyage to RURU... have a happy holiday!!
today went to study at T3 wif Baby.... did abit of reading... haven really start doing anything yet. people lets hope i start soon...lol. especially math.
write until abit tired le....LOL.... lets end here...lol
OVER N OUT

2008-06-01T01:48:00.001-07:00

HELLOS :) i revived your blog darling :) althou its more like for me to kill time and play de, but its ok, no worries :) i will make sure your blog is alive and kicking oh. Hahahah. Darling, OH Darling :) i love you so v muchhhh. Hahaha, oh i suddenly feel like making an attempt to talk&type like twiiiit.

attempt start/
yoOoOZz babIeeX dArhhDarHhlinGs,
iI lUbbS eUu soOo v. muuChHiieXx.
attempt fail/

Hahaha. i am tired typing like a brainless twits omgg, how can they survive man. Hahahas. Darling i miss you, i hvnt seen yu in 2 days :( it's ok, there's tmr :) HAHA. something to look fwd to. and we will strive to study hard, (as always) Hahahaha. oh no, oh no. Hahahas. darling i love you, (muacks)

Jason Mraz - If it Kills Me

Hello, tell me you know

hat you've figured me out

Something gave it away

And it would be such a beautiful moment

To see the look on your face

To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking

You know nothing

'Cause you and I, we go carrying on for hours on end

We get along much better than you and your boyfriend

Well all I really want to do is love you

A kind much closer than friends use

But I still cant say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me

As the feeling inside keeps building

And I will find a way to you if it kills me,

If it kills me

How long can I go on like this

Wishing to kiss you

Before I rightly explode

nd this double life I lead isn't healthy for me

In fact it makes me nervous

If I get caught I could be risking it all

Baby, theres a lot that I miss

In case I'm wrong

All I really want to do is love you

A kind much closer than friends use

But I still cant say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me

As the feeling inside keeps building

And I will find a way to you if it kills me,

If it kills me

If I should be so bold

I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand

Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man

But I never said a word I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

Well all I really want to do is love you

A kind much closer than friends use

But I still can't say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me

As the feeling inside keeps building

And I will find a way to you if it kills me,

If it kills me

I think it might kill me

And all I really want from you is to feel me

It's a feeling inside that keeps building

And I will find a way to you if it kills me, If it kills me

It might kill me

yeah yeah darling, i love you :)

chaos,

yourfgirl signs off.

2006-12-17T12:25:00.000-08:00

n now abt yz.... btw.. this is my 2nd new opost so ppl hu is acy\tually reading my blog can check out the XENA POST TOO!!
her new style is so bloody pretty lah!! veh girl... guess every girl has to grow up... but tis is nt the pt...
tis is quite interesting lah ( to me) n guess i want to share...lol
recently as u all know yz went to capitol n became colleagues wif jolin. and TADAH... tabloid's dream cum true. they start spinning tales abt bitching and animosity btwn the 2. if u are clear headed, u wuld probably know they had been gd frens since yr 2000.....
then there is tis report tat totally gt her pissed off.... normally she will shrug these things off... but tis time they gt her mad...lol. they say tat yz dun wanna go jolin concert cos she dun like jolin n is 'jealous' of her... and they say tat yz said it herself. then BAM... yz dun like ppl shoving stuff into her mouth.... so she was pissed.
she posted a reply on the capitol forum... titiled 'the crap abt me and jolin'... dun tink i wanna post it here, cos capitol actually tore the post down..... causing outrage among the fans u actually say the post....
i saw thw original post somewhere else.... it is really what i cally a "honest" reflection of their relationship. she said somthing like, sure she n jolin were nt best of buds n tat she will nt stick a limb out for her but they had a good thig going on and tat theyrespected and ecouraged each other. and in a very polite way... telling the tabloids to piss off...

capitol tore the post down without an explaination at 1st. and ppl start yelling abt freedom of speech n stuff (including me)... they a frew days later they post a reply saying tat tis is for yz's best interest n they had yz's permission...blah blah blah... n then pl start feeling sorry n apologised for being so rude.....lol....

kids... lol... we are totally being played. so willingly.... we accept any explaination. i still think they shld nt pull yz's post down... i mean if she po it up in the 1st place she will have to answer for her actions... in some way.... hey.. dun get me wrong... i still love her all the same. but in a way, the media has no integrity when it cums to news n sales n cash. thank god for the good music. the music industry is so ugly in a way tat u wonder if all the songs abt love have some kind of formula... n they jus make use of our lack of music knowledge to exploit us.

it seems tat we cannot look deep into anything anymore... no matter hoe beautiful a flower is, the main function is to decieve an unsuspecting bee into becoming a tool to pass its pollens. all the acts of kindness... are they genuine?? is god even real??
i guess all ppl mus learn to take things at face value. the human soul at its core is : survival. the ultimate theory of the stongest survive... any beauty in anything is tainted by the blunt truth of its original objective......
haiz....
OVER N OUT

2006-12-17T11:30:00.000-08:00

yoz!!! get ready for a bloody long post ppl...... i need to blog more sia...lol. n stilll no tag boad...lol...
k.... naturally... this post will mostly be abt xena.... like duh.....

in case u dunno... for the past month, i have dedicated almost all of my time on the com to the sole purpose of watching XENA:THE WORRIOR PRINCESS on youtube...... the routine wuld be open 3 windows of youtube and one window of tv.com.....the youtube windows will be for loading and watching xena and tv.com to know which is the next ep to watch....
freaky stuff, but true...lol. why am i writing these stuff, becos i need closure.guess all of u dunno tat in the end, xena died. like completely staying dead... tis is nt the 1st time xena and gabby died, but they axed the show b4 xena could cum bac, so theoratically, xena is truely, resting in peace. n gabrielle(xena's 'sidekick') now has to travel alone.
what bother most fans was tat after all the tok abt forgiveness, redemption n love blah blah blah..... xena died to pay for her past mistake... n what's worst... this time it was an ACCIDENT!!

XENA"S CLASSROOM: fyi, xena was a really mean person n killed alot of ppl, she then met hercules hu made her change. she then went o a jorney across the land to do good n find redemption along the way . n on her journey, she met gabrielle hu became her 'soulmate...

so... only in death, could justice be found....total BS!! so blood can only be paid by blood?? totally revoking the morals of the whole series.... but i guess this all happened cos they have to axe the series due to some management decisions.... f--k them......

i feel that X:WP is truelly a very underrated show.... the quality of writing n execution is breath-taking.... u will be surprised at the depth of the cheracters and story. the setting is in new zealand(LOTR remamber) n the costumes are graet. i bet many of us watched tis series when we were littke n had no real recollection of it.... hey, if channel 5 shows it on tv in those days... it has to be pretty big in the world. if u have enjoyed it then, watch the whole thing now... it wuld be so worthed it..... if if if u only have time for 1..... which is truely so so nt enough.... watch 'been there, done tat"... a comedy ep... jus to see if u get the xena humor... well if u dun get it, guess this series is nt for u.... some ppl jud dun like tongue-in-cheek humor, they get all serious when xena messed with the greek myjths and jumps abt the timeline n nt to forget, defy death and gravity.... but hey.. wats a fantasy wihout outragious imagination. n of cos... the eye candy....LOL. this guy which is a god to many, uploaded the whole freaking series.... god bless him.....

did u guys know tat there are sucj things as a XENA convention....lol.. it is basically a gathering for ppl hu love to watch xena. the stars of the show will also attend teh conventions and like chat.... they had 1 in aus in jan 2006... ALOT OF PPL WENT...lol.... saw it on youtube. see a show with such following aft 6 yrs is sure something to check out....

another very surprising discovery is tat tis show has a huge fanbase consisting of lesbians...LOL. its mostly cos they find affirmation in the relationship btwn xena and gabby. well it all depends on one's perspective. to me they are NT LOVERS... they are trully 'soulmates'. they wemt thru life n death. gabby;s daughter killed xena's son.... n xena killed her daughter....( btw tis is becos gabby's daughter is the incarnation of pure evil). yet their friendship has the strength to finally allow them to find forgiveness.....awww.... tis is just one of the many times they have to forgive each other...lol. gabby jus keeps screwwing up xena's perfect plans. yes, they do keep saying 'i love u' n ' u are my life' n 'u show me the way' n yah the 'even in death i will always be with u" awww.....*tear**..... but friends can say tat too.... oo. n they kiss... but nt for love reasons.. mostly they do it to save each other's life... like a sleeping beauty kind of kiss. i always believe tat one's heart can have more then just 1 person. every intense relation ship can be plationic.. meaning without the sex....

wat i have learn aft watching xena is tat life's a bitch, we are always surrounded by ppl trying to get a piece of u . u could either walk away or stand n fight these ppl. make every decision with the ppl u love in ur mind... to do wat is rite. walking away require the same amunt of courage fighting does.... so wat will xena do.....

wow... what better way to find closure then to whine in my blog....lol.. nt will be abt yz...LOL... wat a life....lol.....

2006-11-16T08:10:00.000-08:00

i shall replace moi tagboard asap.....
lol... i am studying history.... haiz.... sadness.... at least all the o levels shit is coming to an end.
overview of how i did... i really cannot tell... i mean the papers are WIERD... they dun make sense to me lah!! logically speaking it means i am dead lo..... but i really cannot tell. its nt as if i cannot do, but i am nt confident. aiya, dun care lah.... the most i go some shit skool n my life would be totally spun out of control as i would be away frm the ppl i know n my future will be filled wif uncertainty n bleakness as it seems tat since u cum to dhs u shld go to the top 5 jc but since i may flop tis has become a unreachable goal.... O THE HOPELESSNESS!! lol.. i love drama....
since i am the chairperson... i muz write a speech to be addressed to the skool during graduatuion. i sat on my toilet bowl n tink n tink.. i really dunno wat to say. everything seem to jus hang on the edge of ur tongue. u dun wanna sound cliche n boring but u dun hav anything to say tat may cos any impact, may it be as big as a ripple. i dun hav the words, the oral skills, all i have is the heart lo at best. i mean the skool will be gone, the uniform will totally be changed and everybody scattered to their various jcs.... wat can u say abt such ugly future prospects. wat can i say to the cls?? n i dun wanna cry in front of the skool lah, i may lor!! n in the back of my mind i am tinking abt the cold war.... i tink i need to watch some XENA!! lol
haiz... yz now preparing her new album... so veh quiet till nxt yr march leh!! i wanna die.... tell u a secret... whenever i start a paper, i will tell myself " u muz excel like yz!!" i know it sound sick n stupid lah, but at least it helps me release some stress n giv me some kind of confidence. i now underatand y they are called idols. fans 'worship' them, n see them as role models. n in times where some form of spiritual support is needed they become forms of motivation! i am nt jking. i read alot of ppl telling how they tink abt how xin ku yz is doing wat she is doing then we muz do the same. well at least her influence is positive. i guess its a phase, but teenager dun go for religion.... n many a times u dun really 'look up to god' as a role model. if u do, gd for u!! so.... yah, another one of my attempts to justify my support for yz. but wat i say is true.... nt only me use yz as a 'support'. tats y being a public figure, ur behaviour muz always be at ur best, its a civic duty......
i learnt a very impt thing frm yz....lol... dun mind me...lol.... i learnt to always think abt urself, be centered n nt lose urself. in daily life, we always do wat ppl want us to do no matter if it makes us happy or nt. we are always giving n giving, n one day u will definitely dry up. i learnt tat aft everything u do... always check tat tis is wat I want, i am happy doing it. then u will be a happy person...... its nt selfish thinking. only when u are happy, u can spread the joy to ppl. be urself!! for example a singer doing albums... u dun jus produce songs tat the market wants, n giv n giv blindly... saying " wat u want i jus giv lah". u shld produce the songs u want to show ppl, songs tat u want ppl to listen to n say " this is wat i have, hope u like it"!! lol... another of my wierd examples.... go be happy ppl... be urself....
OVER N OUT

2006-11-03T23:05:00.000-08:00

yo... lol... SURPRISE!!! lol... i call this 'practicing for my english paper'.....
i always tot tat i can okay jus by myself... living in my own world.... doing my stuff.... but i guess i am jus trying to comfort my self lah. u see...i realise tat i am a very obsessed person... when i am into something... I AM INTO tat somthing..... i was never into studying lah sadly. so though i shld be studying... i am doing alot of pointless net surfing to feed my obsessions. i always wonder y... guess i found the ans.
cos nobody around me like the stuff i like!! i hav to get online to look for ppl hu are like as crazy as myself.... n its sad!!... i look at some of the stuff they po on9 n i would be like...'she's crazy'... but to say the truth... i feel the some way sometimes... i may nt be as obsessed, but i am still like 'one of them'...lol...
when i realise 'the truth'... i have tis empty feeling... lol... like 'i dun want tis man...' will i be like tis all my life.... alone.... living in my own world... doing my own stuff.... its nt okay.
maybe its the sudying alone thing.... studying makes u feel so alone.... but i dun wanna stdy wif other ppl oso.... so its all my fault lah....lol... the irony....
when u have an empty feeling inside u... u would tend to fill the emptiness wif mindless things, like tv or obsessions... wooh... sounds like i have an empty feeling...LOL... nt funny....
so as i was doing my stuff on youtube... watching stuff.... i gt really obsessed wif stuff tat ellen degeneres do... the stand up comedy n stuff... she is super funny lah.... then BAM!! i found out tat she is like gay... n tis made me super obsessed...lol...
then it made me rmb abt the conversation i had wif diane abt lesbians n gays... some ppl really think it is sick n wrong... i rmb saying to her tat i dun feel gays are wrong jus tat i dun wan anybody ard me to be one.... then it hit me... actually i dun mind if anyone ard me is gay.... i mean it is perfectly FINE!! then i realise i said tat cause diane really really dun like gays... so i said tat so as nt to make her freaked out by me....
ppl always wants to bland in... be the majority... so we say n do things tat are 'right' even if u may feel otherwise... but there is nothing wrong to be different. i am reading n seeing alot of gay stuff.... i mean the pt of views n some films which by the way are veh healthy n educational lah.... i realise tat they are jus being hu they are.... u cant help it but like the same sex mah... like some ppl jus cannot be vegetarians cos they like meat... if u get wat i mean.... we are always shooting things down if they are different frm the 'norm'. jus like homosexuals are wrong cos the are different. i am nt a veh religious person... so i am speaking in a very 'non religious' way. it says in a film... a line says...' how can something tat comes frm so much love ever be wrong'....amen to tat!...
so r u ppl wierded out by me...lol... i did some soul searching n.... i tink i am straight....lol.... on9 i came across alot of ppl hu claim tat they are gays.... honestly... i dun believe half of them... i tink most of then are jus saying tat jus cos they think some actress or gal is hot n WALAH...IM GAY... some ppl are jus saying to be ' cool'... i tink tis is very very very unfair to ppl tat are really different(i mean gays) n are living their lives in shame n secrecy.... coming out for lets say a 40 yr old lesbian is like the most difficult thing to do... overnite u could lose all ur 'friends'....
does sexual orientation really matters in a friendship.... its jus sad lah... looking into gay stuff really open my eyes to humanity... we can be so ugly, yet we can create love tat is so beautiful...
so imho... i dun mind gays jus like i dun mind other races.... i mean we are humans... learn to love somemore!! peace....
OVER N OUT

2006-08-13T10:35:00.000-07:00

its 1++ am now n there is skool tomolo wif chem mock in the same afternoon..... wat a life... this weekend suck man.... i was still happily jogging wif sx on fri then BAAM!! i have a flu the next day..... i totally damn knocked out lah.... i am like a walking tap... i wasted the whole sat sleeping n the next morning i went to tuition( yes, its this mornng). i was dying.... we were doing vectors n i mixed the whole chapter up wif matrices.... i totally dunno how to do... I DUNNO HOW!!! i tink the teacher thinks i dun wanna do or wat... but i really DUNNO!! freaks me out to think tat i oni have two weeks left n i cannot do a single question of vectors.... i ate a clerasil...n slept for 4 hours...lol... try passing tomolo's chem mock man.... i am doing the chi n eng hw now,...lol... i doin the ODAC essay...LOL.... i tink i can go skool tomolo....kao....
i dun wanna go skool nowadays.... its like a waste of my time... cause everyday u go skool... u would be tinking abt the stuff u shld study aft skooll... but aft skool... u r super tired... then u slp.... whooo!! the cycle repeats.... this is my cycle lah..... i am so doomed!!
i dunno how ppl pon skool... i can nvr do it.... i dunno y.... guess i am too su la to do it... or its jus nt in my system....
i think complete empathy can never exist in this world.... u may empatise with tat person... but u xan never understand wat he ar she is going thru... like O lels ppl cannot know wat IP ppl n stressing abt... n vice verser....so when some1 says 'i inderstand wat u are going thru' should u believe tat person?? but if no one in the world can understand u... wun u feel so lonely??....emmmmm...... pointless.....
OVERNOUT

2006-08-03T04:10:00.000-07:00

i truely thought tat i was quite smart before.... BEFORE.... well... i get grades tat made me happy. sec 3 was like the best yr lah.... but since the start of sec 4 it has been a downhill ride all the way.
i dunno y... i jus cannot get things to work out right, no matter academically or socially or anywhere-ly. i am just a big basketcase....
i dun hav the drive, the brains, the attitude. when everyone else is pia-ing, it turn me off even more. i hate it when ppl wanna study together, or ask me to go out to study. its not cause i dun like them or wat... its jus tat i am very turned off by my lack of focus compared to the rest of the ppl. i would only be a hindrence. maybe its wat my father said lah.... i would never make it into a gd jc. or any jc....
i got like 47/80 for physics paper 2 mock exam. its a veh veh easy paper. even if i get full marks for paper1 n practicle... i cannot get an A. says alot about my prospects of going to a jc doesnt it.
in this yr... i have learnt a quality abt myself. i dun wan to let ppl see me fail at something. if i am sad abt something tat i didnt do well, n someone ask me if im okay, i would get veh worked up n snap at tat person. its a ego thing. i would tink they r laughing at me... r they??

todays chem prac is oso another wreck...lol... 2 people broke a full bottle of silver nitrate n a couple of people,including me broke test tubes....n when mrs ong was doing a demo.. she drop the test tube!! i tink cause we today use diff chem lab... so abit suay....lol
sorry ner abt pang sheing u....sorry... i didnt know gt the jc tok....
guess my life is a basketcase....
OVER N OUT

2006-07-31T05:56:00.000-07:00

i jus hav to get it out of my system... i dunno y i am so affected... but i am.
fine, i xing shang sun yan zi....i admit i may sometimes get too excited n force ppl to see stuff.... i may jus get too 'obsessed'. i'm sorry... n yes... ppl say stuff, but i know they are joking, they may or may not mean it, its okay, i know it a one-sided thing. i willingly or thick-skinly insist tat ppl see or know some stuff. its jus tat i hav to hav some place to release the 'energy'.
its okay to say stuff, eg. 'she too think, she no good' its all ppl's own perspective, i respect tat.
but please, jus dun bloody tell me tat ' she dun even know you, y u like her so much'.i have heard this comment countless times, i am sick of hearing it. do i even care if she knows me or not. isit my objective? isit y the reason i say or do actions tat seem illogical to some? NO!! F**KING NO! its a very sincere n simple admiration, dun make it sound so cheap. i jus veh bs tat ppl think of it tat way. sometimes, ppl like me dun need anything ' material' in return. i jus want to in return get good music, good memories. dun dirty it....
OVER N OUT

2006-07-24T05:51:00.000-07:00

it has been a long time since i blogged...(yes i am slacking, shoot me...) i have never appreciated how blogging had helped me get rid of the bad feelings. i mean... without excersice these days and constant worrying about exams, one would implode under the pressure.
believe it or not.. even the most slack ppl can be worrying abt the Os.... today, this guy frm NTU came to tell us stuff abt future career prospects.... all his talking made the whole thing sound so easy, as if going into teriery education is such an easy feat for dunman high ppl. are dhs ppl tat clever? adding on to the pressure of studying to get a job, is the need to do well for the skool. for eg failing my standing broad jump.... to me, its like wad he hell am i doing lah....jump n jump.. fail then fail lah! but to mr ang... failing my NAFA concerns the skool's ranking n stuff.... to eveything we do, there would always be a social stigma, a responsibility as a human.... well, it sucks.
unless you have achieved great things, such as earn a billion or smthing, you would always be the small fry, the one that has to go with the rules, teh bottom of the food chain. you dun have the freedom to say" i dun wanna study anymore!!" it is childish to think tat we have any freedom in a democratic world. we oni have the freedom to think, but we do not have the freedom to do.... this is the reason that i came up on 'why i am studying'....lol. you are doing what others want you to, nt wat u wanna do....LIFE SUCKS!!
whoooo..... done complaining!!
if i keep on ranting abt i dun wanna study for others n freedom n stuff, it would be lies. i wanna study, n i am really doing it for myself. it is no harm trying to escape the brutal fact by trying to block and deny its existance. if i dun study, i die. life is a very lonely journey.... so is studying. ppl can tell u wat to do, but it is still up to you to decide. many ppl dun wanna admit tat they are really studying for ourselves. we jus keep coming up with excuses to slack, one of the most common one is tat we do not want to study in the first place or tat me not having any knowledge abt the world is not anybody else's problem. its okay to be dellutional once in a while, but i dun wanna be a small fry anymore!! the oni way to get to the top is to study!! see!! its for yourself!!
i want to be a TIGER!! ROAR!! JIA YOU N PIA FOR Os!!!!!
OVER N OUT

2005-09-17T07:15:00.000-07:00

anonymous: do u ppl ever realise the hard work tt the scs had put in? do u ppl noe tt their studies dropped bcos of organising all these activities 4 us? u ppl dun appreciate it n stiu critisise them u critisise them as if deir worthless liddat...put urself in their shoes; if u put in a lot of effort and ppl still critisise u as if u're worthless, how wld u feel? gd? bad? "ji suo bu yu, wu shi yu ren" dun u noe this phrase? if u dunno, i believe ur tcher has failed as being 1 let me gif u an example here: i heard frm a few of my sec1 frens frm npcc tt dey're veh displeased wif u. n wad dey hate most bout u ppl is: u ppl r total suckers. y? bocs u ppl critisise deir performance aft pop. ur own performance was even worse then deirs n u ppl still got the cheek 2 critisise them. the ppl who owaes sae how much dey ahte u r nt the 1 who hate u ppl the most. the ppl who hate u ppl the most r those who seldom tok so now u noe how much dey hate u ppl? dey're nt the oni 1s...even some of my sec2 frens r displeased wif u ppl too so how u feel now? hurt? u ppl put in so much effort n dey still appreciate it. it goes the same 4 the scs. reflect on urself, moses dun bother 2 try 2 find out who i am. i am nt in npcc so u will nv find out who i am. this is the truth.

lol....diclaimer: this does nt belong to me. it belongs to anony n compiled by chen ying shi

okay... i guess ppl would have read alot abt how np ppl hate anony n stuff.... but should we 1st take a look at moses's entry. 'ji shuo bu yu bu shi yu ren'-anoy 'tit for tat'-ying shi. totally agree. i actually dun blame anony, if u have o say hu started it, its moses....i dun mean anything, but tats wat i saw it as. u may say his attacks are all directed at bao jia, but overall, it seems SCs are also involved. we say tat anony shld not hve invoved the whole of np, but didnt moses did the same. every body is angry, things tat are said dun raelly meant anything.
i jus feel tat, dun tink we are correct. both parties are wrong. if i were anony, i would have very much did the same.(while screaming my name)
when ppl are frustrated, we do things tat offend ppl. i choose to stick wif bao jia, i have no morals, i jus think every thing is stupid. jus dun tink we are the only victims.
but anony is still a bastard hu does nt want to leave his name....ass hole....
iwhat i am more concern abt is the alledge claims abt wat our juniors have said. suckers... hmm... deep down, i know this was wat our jouniors said, but it does not make it less dissapointing. actually, we have also critised our past senoirs before. but we dun call them SUCKERS!! fine nxt time we will say...
are u okay assholes.... do u need to go to the 1st aid room assholes...y did u fall out ASSHOLES!!
DO U KNOW WE CARED ASSHOLES!! anony hurted 30 ppl because of 1 person. sec1 + sec 2= 67 assholes.... 67 assholesl hurt 30 ppl.... hu do u tink cause more hurt....ass....
frm this, if a junior see ths.... the-whole-bcause-of-1-comment- the-whole-unit-is-affected thingy starts again.....(but i meant wat i said... its not for using ass an example)
isit worth it.......
p.s. if u wanna go see a more appropraite response... see ner's blog.... tat means u anony!
over n out

2005-09-14T04:46:00.000-07:00

today we had chinese test.. another example of pure regurgutation of wat was in out heads. quite dumb lah, they want us to memorise 3000++ chinese characters just to test us on 5 in the end!! i mean there are better things to memorise lor. but if u dun, u will feel damn insecure, guilty and will breakdown n cry when u get back the paper. kao... our lifes just revolve around doing things we were told to do, whithout asking for the reasons... it's about time we start piecing the pieces together.
but of course, there are things in life where the pieces would never show up. wat is the defination of friends?? to me , friends are people who let me understand them, they do not make things so damn difficult; they are people whom i will go to in times of need, and they would also cum to me when they need help.friends do not only have to bring joy and laughter and peace and stuff... leave these to miss sigapore universe. another thing i tink friends should do is to not be afraid to confront each other. being silent can never solve a problem. this confrontation thingy may have brought me a fair share of problems, but i least its let me know that i have tried to solve the problem.
it takes two hands to clap. its not the problem of who started it. i mean afetr being friends for 3 years, i believe its enough for u all to put down ur dignity n make up right?? and i mean both(or three) parties must put away the alter ego and stuff, not jus wait for one on u all!!
exams are so near, i believe you dun want this to be in ur minds right??

o man.. exams are so damn near, but teachers have not finish teaching, i have not start revising, TYSs are going missing!! KAO!!i am currently more and more in love wif bball.. dunno y. i tink its cause of shixuan lah...JIA YOU!!! STUDY PPL!!

OVER N OUT

2005-08-31T07:47:00.000-07:00

re blogged cause i didnt tok abt the teachers...lol...
i am not the type to be grateful lah...i jus try... wun be too in depth...i dunno y i jus dun have a connection wif teachers...

miss sia... nice person, can consider to be social worker....smart but too thin... muz eat more!! u sure bluff when u say u eat alot lor... ANEROXIC!!! lol.. dunno hoe to spell.... thx for teaching me maths....

mrs lim PS..... happy-ss teacher-sss day-ss to-ss u-ss....lol... GREAT teacher.... proster at math....love u to death... thx for saving me... u save ny math!!

mr siva.... sacar... n2 abt 2c though u dun show...luv u secretly too...lol... basically wanna see the face of the shock ppl when they see ur name here...lol... *moi eyes*

mrs george.... nice experience techer... made moi english lesson interecting... n gave me high marks so i would like eng... bad sadly the passion kena trampled by april ng...... so i would point a gun in ur face if u call me write ANOTHER NARRATIVE COMPO OR COMPREHENSION!!

miss loh.... nice teacher tat care abt our class n shuai ppl.... u save us from a series of wierdo bio teachers... yah... made me like bio....but ur voice to damn loud lah...

miss clair tan... interesting....hinthint... like jap, made moi history class more meaning ful...hinthint

mrs har.. jus wanna niao ur MICRO SOFTWORD!! MICROSOFT WORD N PHYSICS LOVER!!! WIERD!!!! mOI 4 marks!! lol....

lol.. fun niaoing teachers,,, above comments r nt made by yvette lin xin er of 3c... it is her inner demon surfacing for a moment.... so DUN SUE ME....plssssssss.. n gimme high high marks k?? n to those i did nt memtion... I OSO WANNA THANK U FOR GIVING ME WAT I HAVE N DESTROYING MOI BRAIN!! jkjk...

2005-08-31T06:46:00.000-07:00

sorry for nt blogging for likr half a month. has been a crazy 2 weeks, test, np, so blogging has not been in my to-do-list. thanks to teacher's day we caould take a breather, so HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!!
went nigel hse after the teacher's day thingy... basically we wasted the aftenoon away playing PS2 the basket ball game.... gaol: to beat mousy aka moses at the tennis game and beat nigger at the basket ball game...lol.... this yr the celebration in skool was much much betta then last 2 yrs lor... muz be cause in our level un charge... I TINK OUR COHORD RAWKS!!

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in the course of this 2 weeks which i didnt blog, many stuff happened which i wanted to tok about.. but guess i just...forgot lah. n this feelings which i didnt get to express jus remained stuck inside me.
last time, when stuff is over.. its OVER!! i dun have to 'express' or fa xie them... they just 'decompose' inside into simpler substances... now... they just remain as a pile of shit inside me. so isit me tats the prob?? had i lost the ability to solve my own problems using my old heck-care way?? or isit tat my problems have become such complicated substances tat simple processes/solutions jus wun work anymore??
perhaps this just mean tat its time to say tat i have grown up, big problems have cum my way, i would have to deal with it like how the big ppl do it... now shutting myself off, keeping myself as a 3rd party, keeping my mouth shut is no longer the solutions....
however, this also brought me a lot of other probs.... i have never realise how words could hurt so much... a small reaction such as a wierd look could affect ppl tat much...
guess this is my sneak preview in to the real world. innocence no longer apply to us anymore...kao...
i was damn cranky today during the morning, i jus dunno y.... i jus very ANGRY... i dunno for wat. guess i am changing, to something ugly. i dun wanna continue, wish someone could stop me frm changing...
maybe im so angry all the time it cause i am angry at myself... how i suck; how i fail my maths; how i am stupid; how my attitude sucks; how my mouth blabber; how self-centred i am; how i am so bad at handling ppl n stuff; HOW I JUS HATE MYSELF!! tats y i am angry...

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NOTE!! 7 october!!! YZ new album!!! n she got RED HAIR!!!!!!!!!! its so cool!!! cannot show u all her nice nice pic cause i lazy...lol... wah think of yz make me feel betta...lol(i not les!!)too bad no money buy wu yue tian cd liao... but i tink can get frm edwin lah...hopefully....plssssss......

2005-08-15T05:42:00.000-07:00

thanks sec1s for the bbq... veh fun.. the pool veh big....lol. soli pt.. i know i still cannot swim. peiting tried to teach me how to swim... but guess i am destined to be a land animal... n I WANNA ROLLER BLADE SOMEMORE!!! lol...

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i know its time to let go liao... i never realise its so damn tedious, tiring. lol... make me tink of a yanzi song... but i not gonna put here lah... lazy...lol....
i never really see how this sucks till today. it was nt me... it was u... i see it... but i really really dunno y other ppl dun. i understand, but sadly, others dun. so i dun see the point of being unhappy anymore. jus let go...
however, i wun. nt tat i tink i have the ability. its cause i wanna try harder, cause i have nt been trying. i see u kept trying for a very long time liao. if u are tired, then rest.
but if u stop. then u are no longer the person i know... the stubbon bastard... u gotta jus hang on a little longer... jus a bit.. but if its still so rough, then its all up to u....

2005-08-07T19:23:00.000-07:00

NICE SKIN RITE!! muz scroll down for stuff hor!! i do until at night 2am siah... haven even finish moi harry potter... i like tis skin cause the pic in the middle veh nice, veh cool.
disclaimer: i oso like gal stuff..although tis abit boiboi

got this YZ song...lol...
nt promoting or anything(as if!!)
wanna share tis wif u all...
the lyrics r very meaningful...if u know wat i mean...

愛情證書 (ai qing zheng shu)

作詞：徐世珍
作曲：李偲菘
編曲：Terence Teo

寂寞當然有一點你不在我身邊總是特別想念你的臉
ji mo dang ran you yi dian / ni bu zai wo shen bian
zong shi te bie xiang nian ni de lian

距離是一份考卷測量相愛的誓言最後會不會實現
ju li shi yi fen kao juan / ce liang xiang ai de shi yan /
zui hou hui bu hui shi xian

/#
我們爲愛還在學學溝通的語言學着諒解學着不流淚
wo men wei ai hai zai xue / xue gou tong de yu yan /
xue zhuo liang jie / xue zhuo bu liu lei

等到我們學會飛飛越黑夜和考驗日子就要從孤單裡畢業
deng dao wo men xue hui fei / fei yue hei ye he kao yan /
ri zi jiu yao cong gu dan li bi ye

/*
我們用多一點點的辛苦來交換多一點點的幸福
wo men yong duo yi dian dian de xin ku /
lai jiao huan duo yi dian dian de xin fu

就算幸福還有一段路
jiu suan xin fu hai you yi duan lu

等我們學會忍耐和付出這愛情一定會有張證書
deng wo men xue hui ren nai he fu chu /
zhe ai qing yi ding hui you zhang zheng shu

證明從此不孤獨
zheng ming cong ci bu gu du
*/
#/

although it toks abt love, but there r diff types of love. Friends, classmates, squadmates...

2005-08-06T00:10:00.000-07:00

friday had a screening of some of bertrand lee's film... i assume those hu cum see moi blog knows wats going on lah. i jus want to comment on the short film of his 'Birthday'
it impacted me... in jus 35 min... it lrft an impression deeper than any crappy hollywood film. its very local, very real, very vivid. u would never have expected it to be frm any of our local directors. he is a very very talented man...
if this the skool's way of making ppl donate more. they have succeeded. other than succeeding in raising fund, the skool have made us realise the talents tat s'pore posses, n the loss we have suffered.
during the screening, several sec 4s came in to donate some more money... they too have been touched by bertrand lee. the film touched on a subject tat i believe Jack neo would never include in his films. although the subject is not as 'common' as those in jack neo's movies, but the way it is filmed, made the story credible. n made the experience incredible...
though there r some' interesting' scenes, which i dun really understand,,, but i believe there is a reason for them. the last scene impacted me the most, n made the film whole. great ending....
for those hu haven seen it, go see it. hope that bertrand lee could in the near future, be back behind the camera...

back to np....lol. 2nd activity, suck-ish. this is the first time i realise how small ur sqd really is. its our blessing n also our curse. playing ball wif sec 1s is also fun lah. dun really care if it was appropriate... n it was ny fault the log book was not properly recorded...
OVER N OUT

2005-07-30T07:10:00.000-07:00

today we had the scoccer com.... great game... guess did not flop as much as we have tot. GREAT JOB TO ALL... i guessed i flopped. if i had controlled the ball properly then there would nop be the penelty kik... we could have gone further.... but at least this hve leh us forget our past unhappiness with teh macpherson ppl n realise that they are nice ppl after all tat kick ass in soccer.... Area peace is VERY IMPT!!
read moses's blog... he talked abt the impotance of religion. i have been a buddist since i duuno when. but was never a faithful one to say the truth. i have never gone to a real temple, i have never gave up my meat, i dun understand the chanting stuff, i have never eva do anything buddist-ish. but i believe I am still a buddist.
it is good to know that u have someone watching over u when u go for solo-night walk. when u are afraid, u could clutch on to the pendant near to ur heart n instantly find the comfort n assurence u need. i was never so religious... moses inspied me. i always wanted to explore this religion further... guess my family background does not provide the suitable environment to do so....
(if u are very in to christ then u better skip this.) i never understood christianity. i dun under stand how could a person rise frm the dead!! it is jus so unbelievable(sorry)!!! i dunno how ppl could have so much faith in some 1 so unreal.... n if he is so forgiving n all... y does he only save those tat believe in him... n leave the rest to rot in hell??(sorry).... i feel it is indirectly saying that the other religion are fakes.... i feel insulted...
before u ppl wanna hammer me... let me finish... then i realise, actually non of the religion are believable... humans are weak creatures tat need something to lean on to in times of need. religion is one of them. n natually, u would want ur religion to be the BEST!!! so...
u may think i am an anti-christ... i admit tat i was quite irritated by ppl hu keep pulling young kids into church n stuff. but i have nothing against the religion itself...its jus my views....
then it brings me to a point of destiny...or u may say fate... i belive that life is a road with countless cross roads. along the way u find companions that would come n leave, depending on the direction u take.ur destiny is in ur own hands. but the ppl u meet n the option uhave are all fated, destined. meaning its a mix between fated n ur own choice. its like a multiple choice question. so cherish ur companions n choose the right choices... dun becouse of a small misunderstanding... n u loose a valuable companions inthis lone path of life....
OVER N OUT

2005-07-28T08:38:00.000-07:00

today is like damn sway lor... i admit tat i say the community chest thinghy until damn er... but tats nt the pt... i jus wanna say.. TT duraiTTduraiTTduraiTTduraiTTduraiTTDURAI!!!!! cum hit me lah!! lol... i dun blame u moses...i blame on our ignorence or rather carelessness...
today the sald making thing was crap lah... we walk to the room then mdm lim shock tio...lol... apparently 3c is nt suppose to be in this crap.... nvm.. we still did it... it was rather akward cause there are only 2 out of the 17 tems are frm sec 3... 3c is the only class tat didnt bring apron n stuff... so we went there n throw fce lor... then when i cut fruits rite... i tou tou eat... then kena caught by miss koh... then scold me... so malu...lol...
mrs lim actually came to judge tis crap...lol.. so nice... in the end i tonk a sec 2 team won...lol... crap...
sat is soccer com... die lah... dun care liao... after being an NCO... i realise u have to jus let go of stuff... if u focus on every detail... u will die.. so u have to DUN CARE!!! so if we lose...DUN CARE!! lol....
OVER N OUT

2005-07-21T22:20:00.000-07:00

this post have a speacial mission... to tell the world tat np ppl are nt sad ani more....lol. these days we seem moody n stuff... but now its BACK TO NORMAL!! i hope....
realise 1 thing abt np... it changes ppl. its surprising how it can change the whole character of a person.often in a good way. it makes people willing to sacrifice their time and effort in things tat never matters but in the end feel happy abt it....
it makes people pursure not fame or fortune but happiness n friendship... but tats when u are in sec 1 and 2... when u are all covered up in pretty little cocoons....
when u are in sec 3 n 4... reality kicks in... u realise that u expect something in return after a sacrifice. a simple 'thank you' dont work anymore. only with fame n fortune then u get friendship and happiness...
seriously i dunno wat i toking lah... jus wanna write all these to sound cheem....lol...
recently there is this person tagging at ppl's blog... quite irritating lah... maybe u wanna think of him as a lonely soul with a really big ego but have teeny weeny guts... lol...to ta person if u ever get to read tis...GET A LIFE...lol... y do i bother to tok to him huh...i muz be bored...
i confess something veh bad i did,,lol... i call my papa to buy white paper cauz no more liao...then he keep forgetting... then i need tat day n he still nver buy... so i giv him black face... then he go n buy....lol.. feel so damn bad...lol \... actually i dun need it as urgently as i made it to be... wah... feel so bu4 xiao4...lol... scarly i day kena stike by lightning... ppl out there... BE GD TO UR PARENTS HOR!!...lol
actually i got nothing to tok about leh... jus wanna sya i haven do moi hw... three more days to skool..HOW!!
over n out

2005-07-19T05:06:00.000-07:00

understanding... people always say they understands.... isit true?? but without understanding... the relationship would not work out... may it be friendship or watever...
so shld ppl try to understand other ppl...
i have never ever felt so damn alone...lol... tis feeling suck... no body understands... does my communication skills sucks tat bad??
some body told me tat we worry for others not the other way round... i do not have such noble mind sets... i am a selfish n self centred gal. i wan ppl to understand ME!!
u all have ppl to guide u, ppl to tell u wat to do... pass u the experience... but we dunt!! nobady cares if we die.. nobody bothers if we are sad... nobody think we even exist. pls... giv us sum attention... i mean US... pls...
to tat somebody... i thank u... i cansider u to be in the same boat as me... sad... such a big boat but there is oni 2 members... no other boats seem to care... they jus pass by... minding their own business...
im not seeking for attention... but at least give some basic attention as human beings can...
all the above is written in a bad mood... tis post is purely used to vent my fustration.. so...
OVER N OUT

2005-07-17T16:19:00.000-07:00

yesterday was the start of the end *quote yongqiang*
how true it was... after 1 more year, its our turn to be passing out... really hope the passing out ncos n cis enjoyed them selves yesterday...
yesterday was rather smooth sailing.. unfortunatly, there was still the endless waaitings. when i was a cadat.. i tot... y r the NCOs so stupid... lete us wait for no reason then blame us in the end when everything gets too messed up. now as a NCO... i realise there is alot of external reasons to consider before u can do anything... waiting is inadvitable... u are the last person to wish to wait for anything,,, letting time slip through your hands... i also realise how difficult to giv similar instructions... we always blame the NCOs when different instructions were given to use... now... i realise even in the 21st centuary.. no matter how advance the communication system is... the human mind is still a complicated mess and our ears, although exist in pairs can only listen to 1 person at a time... haiz...
i cried the least in this pop... its not tat i am any less upset... its jus tat there are too many things that are going on in ur minds... u tend to forgot to express ur sadness...
the concert was better then i have ever expected... the performance of ppl tat u have always define as slackers made u totally forget how they have ever pissed u off... our sqd squeezed out a performance in the end, although it was slip shot and ouviously ill prepared... but it is still 100% sincerity and... it saved time... the ppt was great... but abit too long lah... shld have seperated it some how... its seldom to see any CI express there emotions... three lonely souls in npcc *quote yueling sir* it aches moi heart... for i realise how often i have wronged them n blame them even though i vever tried to understand myself..
thx sandy n jerene for cumming to help... it was very very much appreciated...n kuniawan too... soli if wrong spelling... to sandy n jerene... u never realise how much we have missed u..
read yuting mdm's blog... i realise the importance of keeping our bond strong nomatter how small it was... our bond is small..not weak...
i hope when its our turn to go... i would cry filled wif wonderful memoriesn bu4 she3... not regrets...
OVER N OUT

2005-07-10T01:19:00.000-07:00

i know tat blog poat is nt for me... but i choose to take it as it is... if u want me to buzz off... i will... u dun hav to do tis.... i know we dunno anything... i know we havwe been nosey bitches...HAPPY.... if u tink tis way... i got nothing to say... congrats for making me cry again... u are getting good at it...

2005-07-09T22:34:00.000-07:00

change the skin... i personally dun like cyndi but no choice lah...

want to tell u all tat roller balding rox!! i started in primary skool... but stoped playing tis past 2 3 yrs.. yesterday i tried again...n i lurved it!!! it feel as if u are a speed demon... u are king of ECP...lol...

the sec 1s were cute too... veh united... stay tat way okay...

soli poony for not cummin... i got squad stuff...

actually the main thing i want to say is in the 1st santence lah...

OVER N OUT

2005-07-09T07:05:00.000-07:00

hi... things tis past 2 days have been....painful...

we know u are sad n dissapointed... we really want to do something... u say words dun help... WE KNOW!! we do... but there is tis pressure for us to keep on trying no matter wat...

the end is coming veh soon... we dun wan u all to bring these bad feelings along... every time u all start toking abt 'the ppl' we try very hard to ignore...very...but they still pour in... each sentance still hurt... tat is why we keep on trying... cauz WE DUNNO WAT TO DO!!! tis feeling of helplessness is crazy... u know there is a problem... but there is no way u can fix it...it sucks.

u may tink it does nt affect us... it is none of our business... but guess wat... it is totally the opposite. u may think we secrtely are happy.. toking to u all is jus a lame way of showing tat we care... u r wrong.

we are in pain... we are STUCK!!

u all say tat u all oni need time... toking is crap... but frm wat we see... time is constantly increasing ur resentment n unhappiness... we are damn scared... we dun wan to lose ppl...

n to tat some1... u say u wanna giv up... does it mean u r deserting me... u wan me to be stuck wif another person... i cannot. i am already trying hard... i noe u r too... but if u every wanna jus giv up... i would break. dun be a loser ass-hole...hang it in there..pls...

we are nt blaming u all for being sad n stuff... but i jus need to show how i am feeling... for u all to try n understand... i dun wan to appear irritating... these 48 hours have been hell... every time u all show ur unhappiness... its torture...

we dun expect u all to not be resentful...but pls dun say u all lose ur passion... it hurts the most... we know wat u all have done... i bet 'the ppl' oso... so pls dun say ur efforts have been wasted...

we know u all will do ur best... we know u all will do ur job... but without the rigyt mentality... u all will be in agony everytime u do it... so dun hate it.. dun lose ur passion...dun blame them...'

overall... its not tat we r saying u all... i jus wan to trash it all out...cauz tears r already nt enough...
OVER N OUT

2005-07-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

YOZ PPL!!!!!!! IM BACK!!!!! but i dunno if i will cont hor... so treasure each post like its the last...lol

2day when geri hse for backdrop painting... n of course the usual ppl came... but it was like the funnest n most fulfilling prep yet...
1stly... we muz thank the Sim family for their full support in tis event... not only they provided material suppot(help us sew the back drop... they oso gave us moral support( take our pictures)....a million n billion thx... guess i could say untill here oni lah lah...
today oso realise that Pasir ris is not as ulu as i tot... its nt oni trees n grasses...lol...

i always tot our squad is united when the time calls for it... guess i was wrong. the situation now is in a 'frozen' state...like a cold war... any time it would jus burst when an event occurs...its scary... i dun wan it to crack... 3 yrs... dun tell me it does nt mean anithing to u all... but i guess the ppl tat needs to see tis does nt bother 2 read tis....

skool jus started... n stress jus starts to pour in frm every where... guess tats moi life... u wun know it started till it smacks u rite in the face... tok abt grand entrence...

now is YZ TIME... she goin to hav an album in Aug n maybe a concert in Nov!!! ah!!!lol...

guess tis is y ppl in the city have obsessions... u dun see a farmer staring at his favourite chicken everyday... or wants to know every thing about his favourite cow... idols take us out of our usual routine.... it makes us imagine wat we want..when we want... not forced by ur PW teacher to think of a "creative" idea to let ppl live easier( be lazier).... by THE END OF THE LESSON!!!
tis is the excuse for me loving YZ...lol
OVER N OUT

2005-03-31T03:34:00.000-08:00

tomolo is finally the GOH thingy....the thing starts at 4 n guess wat as usaul we shall be extra n report at 2.45....okay lah... i know we need to prepare n stuff but do we have to report so early...
anyway...nt goin to let this spoil moi mood cause goin to k box wif me clsmates tomolo...lol.... so sad other ppl got skool....MUAHAHAHAHA.
now ur turn to laugh at me.... when u all r slping at home on sat... i would be in NPDP....lol...sad rite...wanna kao leh. hope the session wun be too sian.....
i realise tat actually we are nt tat cham for the IP thingy.... we keep complaining tat gal sqd cost of IP then left veh little ppl...but i heard tat eds almost half of the sec 2 last yr went IP.. so now abt 10++ ppl left...tis is jus FYI...to show tat we r nt tat cham...lol
lol....now i keep writing postcard for noting...lol...then i oni write to geraldine cost pei ting too far to post n i doubt she would reply....lol....soli ger for ka jiaoing u....n thx for bothering to reply....u know lah... skool to damn boring, so muz find some source of entertainment....
let moi tell u abt the math test yesterday....i would fail...totally/...caus my brain jus dun function like normal ppl. i did not have the comon sense to skip question....n i stubbonly WANNA GET THE DAMN ANSWER!!!! so i so totally will fail....lol...but i dun really care lah. the nite before tis twst actually i wan to study 1... but when i saw the bk rite...i slpt....then when i wake up...i know im dead....so expected stuff dun usually have much impact...
tis oso tell ppl to study early n have a positive outlook when u wake up in the morning...so the day would nt suck so much....
i realise i totally dunno how to built friendships wif ppl...i am veh wierd in a way cause i dunno whether tat person is moi fren until tat person is veh shou2. means i tok freely in front of u then i consider u as a gd fren... nt tat new aquientances( newly met ppl) are nt my frens...it is jus tat i dunno u consider me as ur fren yet anot...
made moi IC today...oni took like 20min...so uneventful...so dun really have anityhing to say abt it...
lol...yz is in singapore again....everytime she in sing then ppl will see her in orchard. but i never see before leh...sway lah... FYI... FIR album coming out liao...cannot wait sia...
OVERNOUT

2005-03-22T03:43:00.000-08:00

lol....didnt noe cannot blog abt tc....budden i didnt blog lah....so no business of mine.
jus wanna say thx for the time in tc. sorry.....sorry for falling out like twice.... n sorry for being a shitty sqdmate. haiz....i suck as a squdmate.... nearly wanna die in tc cauz i feel insignificant and shitty.
o yah...thx ying shi n wing yi for being such jokers in tc....if not for u both... i would hav died.
skool basically is back to normal....
jus wanna comment on the goh uniform....it is so...normal....n mine is too tight.....
OVER N OUT

2005-02-25T06:53:00.000-08:00

hurhur....sorry all for not blogging. i abit no time these days lah.and hor....dun always chui1 me to blog can anot. got pressure okay....lol. but i tink lazy ppl like me need pressure, or else i may juz one day decide not to move at all...and rot in eternal hell( at least in hell u get tortured, u are the passive party, in heaven u muz do good things...active party...)

training course is cumming. in sec 1 it seem so so far away. guess wat....it is jus less than 3 weeks away. saddening lah.... maybe we will be the most slack tc in the history of dhs npcc.
our sqd have very diff priorities. some ppl want pt( which is me lah) some ppl insist on doing the camp stuff(eg.cheers,flag). haiz... our sqd is still squabbling at this point of time. well, my pt has always been bad, tats y i want pt...okay, i am being selfish lah, but i already say not every1 muz go wat....u want then u cum, dunwan then fine lah....i know the camp stuff r important, but pt dun need to last for hours wat... i am happy to have 1/2 to 1 hour.

i heard frm ppl tat the scouts r very united....they dun have things like scout A dun like scout B or scout C dun like scout D. since a bunch of guys can do it....why cant our squad. we have never been able to communicate well....not once we consider a sqd outing as a sucess. maybe its because i dun get niao by ppl lah, tats y i dun see the point of ppl disliking each other. i mean, it does not help in improving the sqd's bonding. we shld be crazy abt our cca at tis point of time....but now, the only reply to anything related to np, a face of pure disgust or a big fat sigh of hopelessness.

but i tink it can be salvaged lah. can see frm the classification shoot today. lol...i tycoly got 75/90...lol....scarly i rmb wrongly...then my face would not only be on the ground.... it would be trampled, squeshed and left to rot. btw...our sqd is born to do tis man...most of us passed. jun yan and guang hui is the ultimate proness....they got 90/90...seh man... oni our skool have wor...lol. i totally can walk in PA wif moi head up high wif light shining on it at the angle of 60 degrees...(wed got physics test mah)i tink it will totally boost jun yan's morale and self confidance so tat he will cum np more often.

the number of gals tat passed is the number of gals needed for shooting com.... so chun3 rite...lol... too bad gal sqd so small lah. but small then got more chances to fa1 hui1...haiz....

i get to luv 3C more n more...lol... i feel i made new frens although i now so old liao( sec3 upper sec lehz) and i oso got veh scare of chiang kee... i tink he hate our class... other ppl say he not liddat in there class 1. bias...dun care him lah. bio boy didnt cum again, n again, n again....i tink i goin to fail bio. also realise miss sia not tat bad liao lah...although she still very bimboish....hauizzz
tomolo got go out...go rest liao
OVER N OUT

2005-02-06T05:35:00.000-08:00

have u ever have the urge to jus throw everything away and jus run...
i know i have....
i've complained abt going to pa... but now i realise it was nt too bad,. we gt a chartered bus to pa. and basically it was quite fun. i read blogs by my sqd mates who went to activity. suddenly i feel ...detatched.they tok abt how crappy the training was and blah blah balh...but i was not there. i was nt there when the NCOs scolded them. i was not there when they had drill for 4 hours. then there is tis tok abt training camp.... tc really is a invisible pressure pushing our sqd to desperation. no doubt the attendence have improved.... but....
every one is saying that our sqd wun make a good NCO sqd....n i have to admit...we suck. we....or at least i feel so helpless... i dunno wat to do to help the sqd. i keep saying let nature take its course. now i regret saying it.
to say the truth... i dun really have the place to comment on the sqd lah. i have not been in much of the training since the pa thingy.but from the tone of ppl around...haiz....
YOZ!!! now to happy tots.... CNY is coming....n guess wat... I AM STUCK AT HOME!! means i will have little ang bao money n tonns of fats...WHEE!!!
do i sound suicidal.... shi xuan say tat i sound scary in msn...lol. aiya...i am anti social by nature so.... btw... blogs r a place to vent ur anger n crap rite... i agree tat blogs r personal...but there is still a degree of public responsibity involved... so i better watch my gap....
o man...Vday prezzies...
OVER N OUT

2005-02-02T06:30:00.000-08:00

yoz....to all my readers...lol...ur crapper is back!! lol.... i am back wif a change!! i said before n i am going to say again...i realise my post have alot of unessesary 'leh' 'lah' and 'lor'. when i read...its as though listening to mrs george trying to speak singlish..lol. so i try lah....
i oso realise i never tok much abt moi new cls!! i luv the cls generally. the ppl r jus veh frenly and veh easy to tok to.... the oni thing tat bother me is tat we seem to be in cliques.... if any of the ppl in cliques r reading tis...try to interact more lah. play ball wif us or go recess wif us...us= the class.'
o yah... today got like 2 test...history n physics. i flop both...big time!! haiz...which of course is the typical situation lah. i shall work harder!!
the cls board is due on thurs...n basically it is going nowhere.... dunno how cum ppl dun wan to stay. i dun blame the sports ppl lah...but even sports ppl made the effort to contribute. some ppl jus sit there n comment n expect it to change it self. hello...stuff like these need effort n man power.pls lah!! haiz...the spcs oso gt test...they oso got a life. dun expect them to do all the stuff.
haiz...need to find pix of dragon...bb
OVERN OUT

2005-01-17T23:10:00.000-08:00

hi ppl!!!
lol....feel veh sian so i go get new blog skin....nice rite??
today after skool...went to eat wif moi clsmates...quite fun lah, its the 1st time eating wif new clas mates....lol. hope nxt time will have more tis type of chance.
np on sat was spas man...we had a test which i totally will flop...cauz i never study...lazy me lah. then after lunch, we hav campcraft for 4 hours... dun wan to elaborate cauz now i very tired lah...lol
jer an sand decided nt to cum back lah.... gd for them lah. dun wabn them to be tied down by us. now they can fully develop their jc life!! lol...gd luck....
wah very tired lah...gtg
OVER N OUT

2005-01-08T22:28:00.000-08:00

i realise i have very bad english leh...i sometimes dun even understand wat im blogging...shall improve on tat....
the previous post rite...i sound abit too sad lah. skool nt tat bad lah. life is much much better after everything fall in place. but np become veh wierd lor.hate tat mr ang ...balding already stiu go n kajiao other ppl business. go to beijing 101 lah!!!
miss koh asked sandy n jerene wherther they wan to cum back...they have nt really cum to a decision yet,but i heard some 1 say they rejected lah. then some ppl quite sad n even angry... but dun u thing they r being fooled around by KOH. when they beg her to let them continue, they were turned down. now...u wan them back?? ani1 wif dignity will not accept. seriously speaking..its their life. i dun wan them to have any regrets. as long as they think is rite, n made the decision themselves, i will surely support them.
friday np, we drilled for 4 hours, quite boring lah. the skool also veh stoops lor, 1 week liao haven giv us locker, if i got back problem im going to break their neck wif my A math text bk...
the fancy drill performance was, in my opinion, a success. at least i did not lao kuei in front og 400 ppl. there is this invisible power tat tells u nt to flop...lol...
we also usher pple, but these sec 1 completely dun listen to me 1. the hall damn small so ppl squease here n there...they will chen ji escape frm me...i sometimes tok until i myself also dun wan to tok liao, cause they keep giving me the ,why-is-this-bitch-talking-to-me face, kao...
aiya dun care lah...1 word of advice to every1....jus go wif the flow.....
OVER N OUT

2005-01-03T06:10:00.000-08:00

same opening lor...sorry for not blogging....lol
1st day of school...very wierd. seeing ppl wearing long pants. familiar faces yet still seem tat i hav come to another school.
the new yr has a veh bad start. hear i would like to express my deep sympathies for the tsunami victims. 1 of the deceased is frm my primary school. damai primary. i feel quite sad....
haiz... the teachers tat cum in are damn wierd. there r oso alot of new teachers lor. this new start thing SUCK! there is this akwardness tat i feel. maybe it is juz me.....
i was at a loss when the bell ring to go home. i dun hav any1.... DUNNO LAH.... last time.. i will always neo tat sandy will cum to my place to call me faster pack up. then we will go find jerene. tis 2 ppl sure go home wif me 1. now.... its jus me....
i sound like i very un-popular hor.... i dunno if i can survive lah. no doubt i have a gd class...but tis does not pay for the...'emptiness'. another problem is tackling skool....die
now the oni things to surpress the sense of loss is to listen to syz n kelly clarkson's breakaway....
NEW YR, NEW CLASS, NEW START, IT SUCK!!
now the patient mus rest... before sense of loss consume me....
OVER N OUT

2004-12-17T07:48:00.000-08:00

today was like the greatest day of my life....let me recount the wonderous stuff i experinced today....
i went k-box wif moi primary skool frens.... quite fun...sing till abit no voice liao....
but tis was not the best part. guess wat...I SAW SUN YAN ZI!!! i went to her autograph session. SHE SO DAMN CHIO!!!! in order to save time. we bought another cd wif the coupon.the ppl wif the coupon will die die get the autograph. if dun hav the coupon rite...u muz wait till yz sign fin the ppl wif coupon then if time allows...then she sign. so out of pure rashness, we bought the cd. i went wif 2 expert, so dun nid worry. they go for energy, sinapore idol, jay', gigs....so damn pro at sqeazing.
it rained abit lah....evertime oso liddat, but nt so bad lah....
when yz came...we so damn excited. there got alot of ppl. the no. of the car is 8778....so nice no. . too bad cannot buy 4d. she sing LIVE man...it was so damn pro...it sound juz like the album!!! but cannot see her cauz block me a piece of canvas. stoop.
cauz i got 2 album rite....i wan her to sign 2. but the stupid hmv ppl oni let her sign 1!! stoops man. her smile was so ..... i didnt say anithing.....all like happen in an instant. in fact when i got down the stage...i forgot everything. it was so .....surreal!!!
they oso took care of fans welfare....when u go doen rite...got free poka drink...the host was lin ling zhi...she suppose to entertain us while we wait. but we juz find her abit irritating...
there got alot china ppl. go snatch all the poster....but nvm...still saw yz....we stood abt 2 hours man....
soli if u tink tis entry is boring cauz i already told u the whole story...lol...cannot help it lah....
gtg prepare uniform...got training again
OVER N OUT

2004-12-16T08:13:00.000-08:00

well...i am now pooped cause of the fancy training today....
the training not oni train u physically...it torture u psychologically too man...the procedure is nice, seh, cool...etc. BUT IT IS FREAKINGLY HARD!!! it is so damn fast n tiring....but tis was the easy part. the worst is tat when u cannot keep up or flop...u blame .....ur self.
the NCOs today were like totally pissed by us...we were shit! n u feel damn guilty cauz u tink u hav let the NCOs down...guilt would jus eat u inside out till u jus feel like kneeling down, crawl to the NCOs n beg for forgiveness. i totally dun belong man. i flop like shit. guess some times the best is not enough. or more accurately...the best is always not enough.
bi1 bu4 de2 yi3 was the words used by the NCOs to discribe tat all the gals hav to be in fancy... i dun know wat it means exactly. but to me it means tat no matter how good(the rest) or shitty(ME) u r, u r in....n they r not happy abt it...maybe i am too sensetive lah...i hope...
always long for training to end...so tat the fancy ppl can go do some 'bonding'. we went wen hao hse n play. damn crap leh. i tink trying to keep up wif moi sqd mates is tiring man. they all like those energiser battery bunnies liddat....wun tired 1. crazy. 1 moment we were playing the guitar...then some 1 start to wack ppl wiff tis stuff toy.the nxt moment, u find ur self eatin...they even want to go kayaking the nxt day....n tats y i luv them...lol
at the end of the day... u find urself so pooped tat u dun even want to tok...
feel sad for the ppl tat did not go into team...i mean, noone deserve so be treated like a spare tyre rite...
we haven return the 'punishments' leh.....
OVER N OUT

2004-12-05T04:42:00.000-08:00

move hse....no com....explains the absence.
well, guess wat....npcc has tis new rule by our dear oc and to.... NO MORE COPARAL PUNISHMENTS(meaning u cannot punish ppl using pumping lah...)well...tis mean no more respect for NCOs!! these gd men n women slog their hearts out for 3 damn yrs, waiting for tis moment to complete the karma cycle.....and now....well, all i can say is...too bad...
i realise playing badminton is a not bad way to have an outing....everyone has fun...u get to exercise, n u dun hav to spend big bucks...lol...
well let me tell u abt fancy drill...all the yrs...when a dhsnpcc cadat reach sec 3.some will be chosen to do fancy drill.they are a batch of 'elite' cadats chosen thru a series of auditions...tis yr...cause gal sqd have limited no. of ppl..all the gals r in the team....but the guys still have to go thru the auditions....sad... however...i am not happy abt this so called 'privilage'.
u may think i am sadistic or prone to self mutilation( i like coperal punishments n pumpings ....)but without having to fight for a place in the team make me feel tat im not gd enough....nt fit to get into the team....when the monster said tat we were the 'elites' i wanted to walk away.... everything juz feel so...wrong when i was training....
perhaps if some ppl r not going for ip.... i would nt be in the team. during the audition...the NCOs said tat the departure of the ppl is 'wasted'. n commented tat they shld not hav gone.... well, i feel damn bad after hearing tat...i would always feel i am not 1st class matirial for this and im jus in for the sake of being in fancy.
dun get the wrong ideas....cuz i am in tis already n i am goin to try not to do too badly. haiz....jia you....
the ppl in fancy r great! there is this bonding lah....so make the training dun seem so bad....
haiz...haven touch my hw....guess sandy hav not enlighten me...im hopeless lah....lol....n finally ying shi is back....FANCY PPL!!!JIA YOU TOGETHER!!
OVER N OUT

2004-11-12T06:03:00.000-08:00

yay!!got my 1st choice....but dun really feel lyk going back to skool....it would not be the same....
saw other ppl blog all toking abt np....haiz...seriously i DUN care anymore.i mean i dun hav the power to change anithing.so y care abt things u cannot n is not allowed to change.....haiz....
the holidays is damn packed leh....i move hse...tonns of np....hw....puberty....etc. but i still got time to do some thinking....i tot alot....n i mean alot as in very insignificant stuff.mostly abt the ppl leaving...n the gd old days....
read ger blog n it made me tink of the things i skimed by without really realising its importance.the sec 1 sqd ncos really mold us to wat we r. i miss the gd old days when np is really NPCC....the days we can proudly throw our chest out n say tat we did XXX number of pumping or we run XXX rounds....the days when i feel tat np can bring me happiness, the days when more ppl cum, the days when gal sqd is complete....
we may suffer aches n pain...n we still now, but it is quite diff. i tink its the feeling of giving up, the fustations when u do something for a very long time...the difference is so obvious everytime a new batch of nco come...i can almost taste the diff!! making the whole situation worst is the departure of ppl....ppl tat were once so close...i dunno, i jus hate every1 nowadays...i dun even feel like toking....i dun wan to even hear my voice....everything is jus so....IRRITATING....
the days when jer n sand would leave us is like so close.... n the irritation n fustration is getting stronger too. y do we hav to go thru tis thing after 2 whole yrs....tis period of change.....sec 2 to sec3....ppl leaving for ip.....we the training sqd....
i feel so damn CHEATED!! i gave all i hav n now u r all LEAVING! leaving behind all the unfinished stuff...leaving us to rot....argh! throwing us behind to 'enjoy' the training yrs....o man...SHUT UP!!
tis all make me miss my primary skool stuff....the 6(or isit 7) ppl hu filled up my primary skool days...all was so innocent n ....FUN.... no stupid CCAs....no stupid ppl around.....
o man...i hav to cool down.....
OVER N OUT

2004-11-04T21:57:00.000-08:00

yoz!!!!! its the holidays!!!! lol.... tonns of eating, sleeping, watching tv........n more and more..............sianz........
haiz... dunno wat to do leh.... dun wan to go aniwhere but dun wan to be stuck at home....haiz.... i am hard to please.....
let me tell u abt the 2c outing we had..... we went to pizza hut and ate pizza.... damn nice siah. wei jie has tis funny hair style....he spike up, like the one mountain in the middle kind, but.... the fringe is centre parting....ewww..... then we went to arcade....
I WON liying, colin n jun ming in "street fighter versus x-men"....lol we all dunno how to play one... but tyco, tyco win...lol... but in the end i tink jun ming beat me....lol. dun care...i am still the champ..lol.
then we went to the pasir ris park..we climb the spider web...i still cannot reach the top...so shi pai. then we went to play vball at the court...but got ppl there 1st. so we have to wait... the guys totally dunno how to play v ball man.... the all play like football liddat....kick n kick. haizz. oni keng ho n wei jie playing... the rest just pai pose..lol....colin damn violent... always smack then hit ppl until damn pain...then every1 target him n keep hitting him...
we play, play, play... then we quite sian course we wan the net.. but the ppl dun go... so we damn evil... we purposely keep hitting the ball into their court...then shout"ball pls!!!" lol....then they muz stop to get our ball...lol. in the mean time, we would comment on their shen cai..lol. course they allwearing swim suite..lol but we oni comment on the guys..(eg.. fats spilling out of the shorts...blah...blah) but still damn evil... then we sian tiao n go n play bball...
keng ho really dunno how to play bball...lol....dunno it was true till i see it for myself....lol
but the whole time i was tinking abt my SUN YAN ZI album...lol, i bought it in the middle of every thing....damn nice.... u may say tat yz did not change much frm the cover..but wait till u hear wat's inside...be amazed.. the music is amzing.... it is very diverse n alot is quite queer... yz is not afraid to experiment... she oso wrote 2 songs nwrote lyrics for 1 song,,,, she oso learnt to dance.... the 'ben' mv damn nice... u can request a glimps of tis mv if u r lucky enough to see me on msn....lol... okay lay enough liao... i know i getting irritating....but all i wan to say is...if u got nothing gd to say abt yz or anything lah...then DUN COMMENT....whew....do i sound angry?? lol...must be mood swing.....
i dunno lah... i approve of negative comment, but i ting it should be constructive... good comments make ppl happy, even if it is senseless. but non-constructive ones oni make ppl sad, then y bother saying it......i stree the word 'constructivr' again...
the first aid coure yesterday was fun... totally change my view abt sj ppl... they r nice ppl.. not like some sj ppl in my class.....
cant wait to know my class...last nite i dreamt abt i getting my cls......i dun wan tat choice...it oso say i got chem+bio then full chinese lit and full geog...ew... quite close to my last choice....pls let me get my 1st choice...
OVER N OUT

2004-10-23T22:16:00.000-07:00

sorry for not blogging for such a long time... hav been really busy wif exams. n dun u dare to ask me how i did, cause i did sh!t. i mean all i can say is tat : if studying land me wif such results, i am really not cut out for studying.
yesterday had the 1st ever np activity after a month of exam break. it wasd hell..... it is normal standard for a training sqd but still.....okay i am weak.....however may i omment on the fancy drill. i admit i am not desperate in going into fancy. rifle drill is not bad. but i tink it is better to do my best... it is a once in a lifetime thing... i dun want to have any regets....
oh... must not forget the inter class..... okay 2c lost.. but we bonded. bonding it so much more difficult to obtain than some fancy trouphy....
although these 3 events dominated my life this month, they were not the reason i entered this blog.....is was a film: The Messenger: Joan Of Arc.
i am not a person wif great taste. i hav.... may i say a perculiar taste in music n films. the stuff i like, the ppl i admire or idolise seem to baffle my peers....lol... but tis film totally..... impacted me.
u all may not know much abt joan of arc aka st. joan(u all could go inyo google to find out abt her...). her story had fancinated me since young. however i did not really go right into her history. after watching tis film.... it relighted my passion for joan of arc.
i 1st wan to praise chn 5 for finnally showing something wif sudstance......
it may seem to many as a boring war film. however to those interseted in st. joan.... it would make u think... or even turn u off...
it totally twisted the image of st. joan.... director luc besson daringly put his opinions oof st joan into the film. instead of the couragous heroine ppl all arond adore. the film protrayed her as a eccentric village girl.... whose superstition n faith in her religion had drove her to the verge of insanity. wanting to revenge for the death of her sis ... she warred against the english.... although she did much for the country, she was betrayed n.....u all know the ending.....
okay... the 'verge of insanity' part was my idea.... however the director thinks tat st joan fought not because of the instuctions from God....but frm pure revenge. the ending... the dialouges wif The Concentious was wierd....
actress milla jovovich also impressed me wif her acting... the setting n clothing is so vivid n detailed...
after reading a little abt st joan.... she touched me. altough i am not a chistain....her faith in her religion. her willingness to secrifice for everthing she belived in. her courage in confronting the english.all were so strong.
she died at the age of ninrteen.....it would make u think how a 17 to 19 yr old gal handle all the war n stuff. i am a 'gal power' person.....
the film oso made me think... it is quite rare for films tis days. "u believe wat u choose to believe" its a strong phrase... it would make u or break u.... haizzz
i totally can watch the film again..,. the fights were breath-taking.... WATCH IT!
OVER N OUT

2004-09-24T20:53:00.000-07:00

yesterday was a long day man.........
in the day we had skool, then we had to have this lantern making comprtition. our lantern damn nice man, loke damn professional, but i think lack abit in creativity.
after tat we had to solve crazy and abit spastic riddles in class. the onli ones guessing are the gals( as usual) lor. the guys are like playing 'monkey' in class. when i go toilet rite, we saw the other classes all the whole class is guessing lor. okay lah, to be fair, jun li and some other guys who bothered about 2c also participated.
then we went to the basket ball court for a 'sing along session'. the whole time they are singing woloo woloo old songs from outer space lor. the climax of the session is always when the students sing the pop songs, and the anti-climax is always the psg sing stupid songs. however it was a great time for class bonding. we, all just danced to song we had not even heard of.
Guess wat! our class got 3rd for lantern making and 1st for the riddles thingy. then we went damn high. in fact the skool went berserk! then as usual the teachers stepped in to make us do the ' sit and stare' thing. then they continue singing the wooloo songs till about 9.30.
the class was siao even after the thing. we went to play basket ball at 9.30 at nite! the guys play damn fast! we cannot even see the ball. okay lah, i admit, i cannot play bball.
then we went home in ming suan's car. wat a great nite!

2004-09-21T01:44:00.000-07:00

yo.......... tell u wat, tis blog is going to be full of hate and F-ing man.
we had our ATC last friday to sunday, u may have read other ppl's blog. saying tat it was sucky, boring, stupid...... IT IS TRUE!!!
1st on friday we had our stupid chinese test.... after the test we had to change and put bags in np room. the TO gave us 2.30 go the bus. the stupid test is like drag till 2.15 lor. we were onli abit late then he scold us like we are stupid idiots liddat lor! he say the nco until is as if thier fault tat we were late....they jus wan to say somthing to us before the camp.... he is like totally stoop lor.... cannot stand him. he crap on the bus but totally nobody was listening, now we understand y the ex nco hate him.....
then when we reach the jetty...... the stupid freaking camp is so damn far..... dunno who choose the date for tis camp wan lor. it is totally illogical.....no, it is totally STUPID! the VS guys all have to go back skool for exams lor, SEE! we oso need study lor!
NVM, forget abt things before the camp. the 1st thing we went to the campsite, we have to unpitch tonns of tents. then some stupid ppl un-pitch a tent tat is suppose to be left untoch! they left half of the pegs out of the ground and the whole tent totally eww....... n guess wat! nobody told us! when its like no time left then we saw tis dying tent there.... stoop man! we had to re-pitch the thing n i dun want to talk about the disgusting bugs and stupid nettles.
i totally hate santry duty........ we had to wake up in the dead of the nite to........... walk around the campsite! wl! i know it is for the safety of thecamp but who would wan to wake up when u r already asleep lor!
the 2nd day morning, i happily wake up and change to my unit tee.... then some ppl told me to change to my pe tee 2 min before flag raising.... FINE.... then when we finish changing, i and peiting went to the parade groung.........there was fire drill!!! n not all dhs ppl are wearing the same attire, wat the freaking hell am i changing for... i ran to the toilet to change for nothing!!!! n tat totally spoil my mood for the whole camp!
the activities for the camp was okay..... the toughest part was not the pt, not the elements......... it was the eating time. u have to organise wat to cook, then u have to wash the stupid mass tins. the worst is u have to wash the mass tins for OTHER PPL.... i really tot tat my hand would rot every time i finish washing... the ppl jus eat n go.... all i can tell u is the ppl tat r plain selfish n irresponsible is definately not frm dhsnpcc.
the 3rd day is nothing much....... all i can say is tat it is as equally stupid as the previous 2 days,.
the only word to describe the camp is STUPID....... i totally hate everyone after the camp. i hate every theing frm the birds in the trees to the bacteria in my body. i tot i would feel better after i slept 14 hour after teh camp.... dream on. i totally became worst.i tink tis atc onli showed the BAD SIDE of the sqd. i mean the bossy, slack, disorientated side of the sqd.dont get me wrong. i mean like if half of the apples is bad , u would not expect the other hafl to turn good rite, they only turn bad. I DUN UNDER STAND! y is our sqd so sway! y am i so stupid, y romeo love juliet, y is the earth round, Y CAN'T MY BODY BE LIKE JENNIFER ANISTON!!! I HATE EVERY ATOM TAT EXIST ON TIS DYING EARTH!!!!
oo..... i feel better already. but life still must go on. i dun care about atc animore, i dun care hu got best camper award. i jus want yz to faster release her album n may i do well in my exams.........
OVER N OUT

2004-09-06T01:04:00.000-07:00

the sept training course is over......... but it was not as bad as we tot it would be.
although there r still the ussual aches n stuff, but still not very bad leh......... we learnt the rifle drill using the wooden rifle. damn fun siah.......although it is not as heavy as the real rifle but still quite hard. wah if use real rifle sure die man
finally, we r able to pitch a proper tant. altough we use almost an hour, but better than last time(fyi, last time we use 1hour 45min) n we had survivour again
cause it is the 2nd day, every body hand abit suan frm the log pt the day before, so the pumping this time was much tougher lah, we did like 218 then the nco call us to stop.y? cause they dun wan to niao4 chu1 ren2 ming4...
then is survivour jumping jack... one of my worst area... last training couse , wif the ex nco, i cannot do the full 300 minimum they set......... now, i can!! n as usual wei ying didi the most by doing like 800+++. she is my new idol....... although my untimate idol is U ALL KNOW WHO
i must comment on the log pt man.... when we got the log, mdm say in a ' this is normal standard voice'"do 70,70,40 and the jumping jack include lifting the log to the height ur hand is" wah we totally freaked out. we ask for like 3 times"70,70,40!! n for ur info is 70 pumping, 70 sit up n 40 jj wif the log!!
we put the log on top of our palm when doin pumping, wah liao pain siah. the bone nearly squashed.then the log was at our stomach when doin sit up .. wah nearly cannot breath.the log keep rolling from the diaphram to the plevic bone n vice verse. we have to change to lifting it ur cause we CANNOT BREATH!!!!
finally the OWE ME systhem is back.... it was like abolished last yr,,,,,,,, it is like going back to sec 1. we have to remember how much we owe the nco throughout the training n pay it back by the end of the day, lame.........
i feel tat our sqd keep arguing wif the ncox..... very ap leh. maybe tats us.lol
THIS MARK THE START OF TRAINING LIFE
OVER N OUT

2004-09-03T05:06:00.000-07:00

yo ........ sorry for not updating for so long........ it is jus tat tis month is hell for me........
tell u wat, i tink the ip thingy suck, like half of my level is going for it, two of them r like my closest fren i had in my secondary life. gal sqd have 8 ppl, minus two it would be 6. man.......
i dun understand y ppl r so into ip. they r like going because 1. they hate staying in dhs 2. they wan to go as some of their frens r going 3. for fun..... i dun wan to mess wif my future, it is not tat if u go ip ur future is ruined, but i dun feel secure if i were to go into ip. after the level camp, i dun tink dhs is so bad after all. i really dun understand. do they really hate dhs so damn much tat they have to freaking leave the damn skool. leaving behind all the freaking ppl they had known for the past 2 yrs, all the memories and bullsh!t.....
it is not tat i blame them for doing so, but really some of their reasons are bullsh!t, even childish. guess wat, some ppl leave cause their frens r going.....wat the hell r they freakingly thinking. they sort of 'change their whole way of education' jus to....... aiya dunno lah!
some ppl go cause they really have a reason n i respect tat.2 of them r frens tat i dun mind spending the rest of my life with...... now i dun even know if tis was possible. i am like 14, i dun have to go through all these. it is too damn much. AHHH!!! u may say tat it is jus life but who is ever happy with their life..... i dun wan to jus leave my fate to life.... i wish i could freakingly change it....... abolish tis ip bullsh!t.....
i dun think my np life would ever be the same again...........
i hav onli like 3 to 4 more months wif tat 2 sqdmates........ n there is tis prob. the relationship sprt of turn really sour in the gal sqd........i realise that the harder u try to maintain a relationship, the more messed up it gets. i really dun want to spend the next 3 months tis way........ i wan it to be happy, unforgettable....
pls, cherish each other more, sorry if any mistakes r made, sometimes small mistakes may cause u a lifetime of regret......... dun let it happen..........
OVER N OUT

2004-07-30T05:29:00.000-07:00

pop is coming......... in a week's time we would be training sqd. worst still....... the ncos are all going to leave np....
i dont know how can any human being be so heartless. ppl already going to leave npcc rite, they dun wan to cum for the stupid prep. idiot man. i actually begged them to come lor. the just aply walk off... like gal sqd is a few barking bitches. fook them lah. haiz.. dun wan to tok abt these ppl. they jus spoil my day... or rather my np life.
tell u wat.... the teachers really dun hav a sense of time. they like to cramp all the test in 1 DAY. on thurs we r going to hav a chinese, science and literature test. die man. later we too stressed up then we write something like wo4 ai4 H2O. stupid man. and also another thing. the skool scared lose the pupils into the IP(trough train) programme rite, they dun let the teachers write testiminals for the pupils. they also dun leh the pupils take their report books. not tat i am going or able to go lah. but alot of my frens applying mah. feel tat the skool is being unfair to them. but i really dun wan them to leave the skool( although the skool suck alh) haiz..........
life now suck lah..... go to skool to get pumped up with stress and go home. the next day get pumped again... one day we may just burst man........ JIA YOU...... lol
OVER N OUT

2004-07-05T01:20:00.000-07:00

Finally this SYF thing is over.............never knew tat u can feel nervous about marching in front of people.
dunno to feel sad or happy leh........of course happy tat it is over lah, but also sad tat it ended so aburptly. never really got to know anyone frm other units and really missed the CIs.haiz....
skool unfortunately started. alot of work haven do leh. haizz. the 1st week got science test. not bad lah. if got learn then can lah. oso got back the history test papers. notbad lah quite satisfied. o yah not to forget about the stupid math test. leh me as every one..... 1-0.35=0.65 rite..... guess wat i kept thinking it is =0.75 for the past 10 minutes spent dewlling on this question.........AHHHH i am hope less wif math... hope can scrape through thru math tis yr.
okay i am anouncing tis to the world....I GAIN 2.5KG DURING TIS HOLIDAYS DUE TO MY EXCESSIVE EATING AND LACK OF MOVEMENT.... dun tink u can see me after the next taf clud activity... cause i will be strangled to death by miss tan....
next sat is ugd... did not do anithing ....... haiz....die....
OVER N OUT

2004-06-15T02:25:00.000-07:00

yoz all.....
my com went for repairs so i am writing tis in a public place. done nothing in the past few weeks... haizz... ppl say tat i am lazy and i tink i am very lazy too( wah so sad...) so i am looking for suggestions to make me hardworking...interested parties can tag in my tag board or tell straight in my face.
wah...... i sound siao man. haiz... nothing to do. my life is so damn boring.( n i am not going to use doing hw as a form of entertainment) tis yr is pretty irregular. the starting of the yr i am damn busy then now i am very eng... kicking leg at home every day, eating and eating( of course followed by getting fatter lah) i sure go back in taf club when skool reopens.
i muz tok abt the suposedly sec2sqd outing. oni the 'regulars' came. how pathatic can the sqd get... ok i tink i shld stop toking abt np.....
i went to watch the tu1 ran2 fa1 cai2... it was not bad lah...i would reccomand it to anione who wants a gd laugh. joanne peh was so damn chio in the film. but i heard frm other ppl tat she cut her hair till veh ewwy... but she still very chio in the film.
i went to eat sukae sushi wif my papa and bro. amazingly, i ate lyk 6 plates man plus all the trash my bro and didi dun want frm their meals. i am always the trash can when i go out wif them... my bro always waste food and my didi must look out for his diet, so the trash all is taken care by me...
onli 2 weeks before skool reopens... still got loads of hw to finish....(i mean all the hw) so ppl stay happy and FINISH UR HW!!
OVER N OUT

2004-06-02T01:02:00.000-07:00

yoz all......
finally the 4-day np merathon is over. from the 1st day of the holiday till yesterday, i hav npcc man.
the 1st day of holiday, we had the first day of training course. it started off wif a drill session then we had pt. we had survivor pumping after a short run
the objective of survivor pumping is to pump as many times as possible. i only pumped a miserable 209. before my pewny hands gave way. our 1st honourable pumping queen is non other than the great xie pei ting, pumping a total of 390++ times. followed closly by our pumping princess, the chio bu sim wei ying, wif only 1 pumpin less. throughout the session , i tink the moral was high. u can discover ur limit of endurence.
then it was suvivor sedia. u have to stand at sedia wif the NCOs making fun of u. u cannot laugh and move. jerene rox man. i tink her brain was shut down or wat. she did not even move a muscle when i threatened to lick her ear. wei jie had tis ap face all along.....expectedly.
then we had barang pt then go home.
the next day was a totally slack day. we had drill , then tent pitching. the groung was shuty man. the peg could not even get into the ground. the guylines also keep snaping. we were only given 45 min to pitch 3 tents. we only pitched 2 , so we had to do finish the whole obs course. in the end , not all finish ( one of both is me lah) so we had to run 10 rounds around the field. tis not only did not dampen our sprites, it actually built up our moral.
at the obs course, i saw wat sqd spirite really mean. every one helped to make it through. and when we failed, nobody grumbled.for the first time, i can say WE R A SQD.
then we had our campcraft test. we practically had only last nite to study. many ppl were too tired to even look at the book. so they do wat they know and slept.....
then we had a short barang and went home
the last day was even slacker.
we had drill, then we had campcraft. then, without any pt, we went home! it was slacker than normal activity man. haizz. seeing the training campers, we felt our life was so much better, haizz. 1 more year, we would be the same...
after the training course, we slacked in the skool a while and we decided to go to bugis to take neo print. wen hao came, sandy wanted to study, so she went home. after taking neoprint we walked awhile and jerene had to go home. we decided to go to merina south to have dinner at abt 7.30. when we reach there, we realise it was too damn wooloo. it was veh dark and scary. so we decided to go back to suntec to eat.
in the train, pei ting suddenly felt giddy and faint. so we quickly go to somewhere wif a pharmacy to buy some stuff. then we went to raffles city to eat. wen hao was totally nice man. he bought us food and wif geraldine and neh , they took pee2 home.
the next day we had pa.
we only drilled for i tink half an hour and spend the rest of the 6 and a half hours waiting for who knows wat. guang hui was practically burning when they took any actions,. wen hao alreadt told them for at least 3 times tat guang hui was sick. wat they tinking lor.
at nite we went to eat ant pe2 felt sick again, and sandy had really bad gestric, so we went home.
tis 4 days was wierd. we had happy times, bad times, anxious times, sian times. alot of ppl r also sick( geraldine had cough but still eat alot of chips, claiming they would make her feel better, pei ting felt giddy, wen hao and guang hui had fever, the ger sqd all had rotten knees) but tis 4 days r unforgetable.......
OVER N OUT

2004-05-27T04:53:00.000-07:00

wah...spent alot of time dusting my blog...... had to fight many dust mites before i could write tis blog. busy with exams, think i am going to flop tis term man.
finally 2c is goin to hav a class outing. tink tis time it would be successful. since siva made it compulsary ( n noone wants to be niaoed by him) ppl wolud cum.
tis week spent alot of money lah... the class outing, the presents haiz
finding the classic writer book for the past 2 days. i went to libary today n finally got 1. so spas man..... i spent like 45 min then find.
june training coure is coming in 2 days time. the last formal activity with tis batch of nco. sad man...
thing i will only update again after the training course... sure got alot to write 1 lah.
OVER N OUT

2004-05-09T01:42:00.000-07:00

lets go back to 7th of may......np day. i tot it would be an exciting np day. it turnrd out... so normally!!! not tat i was waiting for anything particular to happen but it is jus tat..... nothing happened. the only thing tat i find un normal about np day is tat i woke up very early in the morning.
but in the parade square tat morning, the sky look really rainy. i was really afraid that it would rain.... luckily it did not.
then lets go to 8th of may. the 2.4 run was delayed for half an hour for no apparent reason. they jus say that the 9 and 9.30 batch would be combined. wierd.....aniway i did like shit lor. full of negetive tots during the run.
after the run, huiman liyan and i walked 45 mins back to skool. our legs were like bursting. if u calculate roughly , we walked and ran for 5 km!! i and huimin crapped all the way. we wanted to drink coke. ECP is damn wierd man. the place hav no vending machines or shops... so we walked all the way complaining and whining.
when we reach the skool, we were half dead man. we changed to pt form and went to the field.the tent was half pitched. we jus stand there blurly then it was drill.we lernt a very seh drill. saw the sec 1 lerning ke-belakang on the march. feel like laughing and puking at the same time. i knoe i very bad lah...... but even our NCO laugh lor.haiz.
we expect to get our 2nd lcp promotion , but tat was not the case. we stand for veh long but in the end the sec 2 did not get aniothing. this is our last official activity. dun think got animore oppotunity to get from this batch of NCOs.
THE LAST OFFICIAL ACTIVITY....so sad. we played ball with jiajun mdm and shihan mdm. when we were resting,shihan mdm ask us some thing like this: do u feel anything about pop, about us leaving.
we replied a very ap and insensitive answer which i refuse to type out. of cause we would feel sad. not abt sec 3 being our nco, not abt us being training sqd( although they are a very small tini wini portion of our sadness) it is because the NCOs r leaving. haiz. time flies like no bodies' business.regretted tat we did not cherish the time we had wif them.
still muz find grp 7 ic and do the sci report....
OVER N OUT

2004-05-06T04:55:00.000-07:00

wah...finally tomolo is np day. dunno will be suaned like shit anot. very shameful leh... my shoulder abit the bare. anyway i can comfort myself tat 2/3 of the sqd r still privates. the LCPs r the extra ones..lol. wah.. later i am third badge hor..then i would be the extra one.
this sat got 2.4 run, but hor still got np. sian man...so long dun hav, going to die on sat.
guess wat.. my math is 177.5/250 for the mid year. one of the last few in class. haiz... felt like digging a hole n live in it forever and ever.
OVER N OUT

2004-05-01T05:55:00.000-07:00

soli hor sandy... hav to use ur tag board html.
finally wrote my talent time report. most mean report to date. actually not lah. it is only tat i always act nice in previous reports
today the whole day kept eating so i went running. wah....... i realise running alone sucks to the max......u jus run n feel so stupid.
i realise today tat SHE cannot really dance. is not tat they CANNOT dance but the dance moves are really simple, but they still sing very well.
actually i nothing to so i write tis entry. sonothing to write,lol....
OVER N OUT

2004-04-30T08:58:00.000-07:00

Guess wat, i am fustrated trying to edit the previous blog, so i created a new one!!!!!
wah...can finally song1 yi4 kou3 qi4 after 1 week full of test man. i was like dead the whole week man.i oso had to rush to do the dnt.RUSH...rush.....RUSH everyday jus rushing to nowhere doing nothing.so the gal sqd today went to sandy house to slack.
a long time since i hav fun like tis. We jus plain act spastic in sandy's house.we danced stupid dances and sang spastic songs..... in conclusion , we had fun lah
i would like to warn anyone sleeping on buses(gals) . DUN !!! i did not sleep a wink on bus this 2 days. i was looking around dunno for wat. maybe tat is y i felt dead tis week.u never know who would sit beside u and wat the person would do.....
Haizz.....this blog thing is tiring man. i tried to edit it for the past 3 hour and in the end i created a new one
let me intoduce the new member of the gal sqd big and obvious ly spastic family.SANDY... welcome...lol . i shall not disclose her post as she will kill me, lol.
nothing more to say... REMEMBER
OVER N OUT